Willy’s Wonderland (2021) Movie Review (LINK) This Willy’s Wonderland (2021) Review Is The Newest Episode of Wandavision!
If you actually need a review to figure out if you want to watch the new Nic Cage “horror thriller” (in parentheses because nothing in this movie is scary or thrilling) Willy’s Wonderland it is going to suck when someone tells you about the pandemic.
It’s the 40 thmovie Nic Cage has released since the lockdown, and since Cage is listed as one of the producers, you can be sure that you, the lucky viewer, will see every cent of the three-figure budget of Willy’s Wonderland, most of which was spent on the “abandoned warehouse” set you’d see in in the climax of every generic action 90s movie that’s actually released in theaters.
To suspect that this movie would be any different from the 80 Nic Cage movies released straight-to-Betamax since we’ve switched presidents requires a flashing-red-light level of denial not seen since Nicolas Cage said yes to every film role he’s been offered since Gone in 60 Seconds made some money.
If I paid Nic Cage the money I owe him from the Super Bowl he’d probably shoot a promo for this review…
Nic Cage: Read this review for my new movie Willy’s Wonderland, coming out a couple of days before my other new movie ________ (pick one).
Thanks Nic, here’s the $5 I owe you.
Yes. He showed up because I owed him money and bought him a sandwich along with a cold beverage.
Nic Cage: I’m also on that Netflix show.
Of course you are…
Nic Cage is saying all the stuff I usually say during these reviews.
Except I have to pay and feed him unlike you.
Nic Cage: After I finish this review I have to walk to the set of my next movie. It’s called The Next Movie I’m Doing.
*thinly veiled sarcasm* Gee, I hope we don’t have to wait too long before you’re next movie’s released.
Nic Cage: In the time it took you to finish writing that sentence I finished the movie and it will be released on VOD next week!
In the meantime, let me get started so I never have to f*cking think about this mediocre movie ever again.
Nic Cage: In the time it took you to finish that sentence, I finished another movie and it will be released on some Nigerian streaming service in March.
Click On The Link Below To Be In Nicolas Cage’s Next 15 Movies!!!
Originally published at https://discover.hubpages.com on February 14, 2021.
